I am 43 and had a 25 year old boyfriend. His father and brother new about us and like me very much. But his mother found out and convinced him to break up with me. he still lives home with parents so he felt the need to side with his mother. I am still in love with him and he said he loved me. since we broke up we were still seeing each other and having sex. now he has found an 17 year old, that is breaking his heart. (we still talk) and he was at my apt. just last night. do you think there is still hope for us or am I just an old woman who is messed up in the head?

Please do not decide that based on a poor relationship decision, you are “messed up in the head.” If your boyfriend were as committed to this relationship as you are, the age difference would not be a problem and I would give you a thumbs up for the relationship.

The problem, however, is it is clear he is not committed to you nor the relationship. Giving in to his mother’s demands that he not see you, if that had been a short term answer while he looked for a new place to live, would have been fine. But, continuing to stay there and live by her rules means that he has put his own comfort above your relationship.

In addition, while his mother may have said he could not see you, she did not cause him to start a relationship with the 17-year-old. I understand he is relaying to you that he has a bad relationship with the other woman, but he can fix that very simply: Stop seeing her!

Unfortunately, it appears that your boyfriend has found the best of both worlds. He can “officially” date the 17-year-old and make his mother happy and then he can sneak off to see you for sympathy and sex.  If you are willing to accept the relationship as completely one-sided or are just in it for the sex, then by all means, enjoy yourself. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a physical relationship.

But, if you were looking for a meaningful relationship, this is not the guy for it. He is selfish and not committed to your needs at all.