How does it help us to live our life and open us to new things and heal our hurts? What does it teach us?

Merry Meet!

Thank you for your question, my dear! I think most of us wonder – more often than not – what we have to learn from our respective lives.

Learning is not only painful – it can also be pleasurable. I like using the analogy of a baby when I am asked this question. Babies learn both by pleasure and discomfort / pain. The first time they taste fruit, it is a pleasurable learning experience. When they learn to walk though, it is quite the opposite. They fall continuously until they get the hang of it. In both cases, the baby had to take a risk in order to develop. In the first instance, he had to put something in his mouth with a texture, consistency and taste totally different from milk. In the second instance, he had to leave the piece of furniture he was holding on to venture away from its safety knowing full well that there was a good likelihood of a fall. If the baby refused to taste something new or stray from his piece of furniture, he would never learn to eat or walk. As adults we know that both are critical skills.

Before we are born, we know which lessons we have to learn on earth. These tests appear in our lives again and again. For us to learn, we have to risk something. Sometimes the lesson is pleasurable and sometimes the lesson is painful. Sometimes painful lessons are repeated. If you find many painful lessons in your life, you need to take a step back and look at the situation in a brutally honest way. Is there a connection between the painful events, why did these come about, what could an underlying lesson be? You may find that there is something you need to change in yourself to prevent the situation in future.

By this I do not mean that you should avoid relationships after your third one failed. I mean look at your selection of partners in the relationships (were they abusive or too docile etc), look at how you interacted in the relationship (i.e. were you their “servant” or were you the aggressor etc), look how you treated the relationship (i.e. matter of convenience, neglect, sacrificing all else etc). You may well find your answer and by overcoming the obstacle, avoid future pain and gain a pleasurable, mutually satisfying, loving relationship in its stead.

Although it may not feel like that every day, life is a precious gift. Live every day like it is your last. Be kind, tolerant and loving to both yourself and to others. And above all, do not avoid life’s lessons – embrace these, knowing that it brings you one step closer to fulfilling your goals!

Blessed Be!